Greetings, fellow technizens!
We are pleased to announce a new product that will be unveiled at Citrix Synergy in May.
Introducing Citrix Virtual Clothing (CVC)!
Fashion at your fingertips… literally.
What? Now, Citrix lets you work from anywhere, on any device, wearing anything you want!
How? Do you often find yourself dressed casually while working remotely, with an in-person meeting at noon and dinner with your spouse at 6pm? No problem! Just choose your outfits from your Citrix Receiver CVC app, which offers thousands of couture attire options. Your choices will automatically appear on your body at the scheduled times via a special Citrix Receiver body implant that enables the outfit to display in seconds. Integration with Octoblu technology in Citrix offices will also ensure you are always dressed appropriately whenever you scan your badge (so no more forgetting to change out of your pajamas before work)! You can even schedule a special wardrobe change when meeting with particular individuals or organizations (e.g., a “lucky” outfit for your boss, blue tones for a meeting with Microsoft). Octoblu technology can even enable an automatic refresh when food is spilled on your clothing (IoT in action!).
Why? In addition to providing a practical example of the secure delivery of any kind of data, CVC reduces environmental waste and enables self-expression while ensuring increased productivity for workers of all sizes (because your wardrobe grows with you). This helps extend the relationship we have with our customers, as they now rely on us for secure delivery of data, as well as living essentials. A virtual food app is in development.
“I wanted us to challenge ourselves to think outside the box (or the closet, in this case),” said Kirill Tatarinov, president and CEO of Citrix. “We are really pushing the envelope for Citrix technology and showing true innovation, while also enhancing how we interact with our customers. While this may seem a little radical for some, I believe virtual clothing is the next big thing in tech.”**
**Legal disclaimer: The content in this email should not be reprinted, distributed or even taken seriously. It is an April Fool’s Day prank. No Citrix products were harmed in the making of this prank. Happy April 1st!
