Computers have done so much for the Movie Industry. Why can’t they get it right for Us?

 Since the movie “Source Code” has been released, we in the Computer Industry need to set the
record straight on Computers in the Cinema. If it’s not Tron-Legacy’s 28-year idle time-out, it’s the Social Network’s drunk coders contest. And, what about Skyline? All that amazing cybernetic morphing with humans  – the ultimate in Plug-n-Play. How’d they do it? No explanation…

Someone needs to tell Hollywood that Source Code does not compile into time travel (yet), that idle timers can’t be set for 28 years, that machines morphing with humans is not an exact science and that coding while drunk is impossible

I thought I’d save the movie Producers the time and effort of coming up with computer-related movie titles and themes that didn’t make sense.

This list of more realistic Tech Titles should be good for the next 10 years:

Comedy – Romance:
Logically Blonde
Virtually You
How Do You Filter?
Error Prone
Restoring You
Is This My Version?
Certified Error Free
Soft Ware Warm Heart
Securing You
High Values
Dumping Memory
Frozen
Third Party

Drama/Adventure:
Hard Stop
Machine Language
Overlay
Unmaintainable
Single Point of Failure

Single Point of Failure
Crash Dump
Routing Error
Encryption
Root Cause
The Missing Code
The Seven Layers of the OSI
Verbose
Trusted Domain
The Hexidecimal
Corruption
Disconnected
The Exception List
Control-Break
Contention
IP- Intellectual Property

Horror:
The Clone That Wouldn’t Boot
Blue Scream of Death
The Hex Code
Locked Out
The Object
Hang ‘Til You Rot
Deprecated
Headless
Telnet to Hell!
The Halting
The Version That No One Installed
Memory Leak
Room 404
Malware
The Hackling
Deleted
Drag Me and Drop Me

Sci Fi/Fantasy:
Script Wars
Bot Wars
Surf Wars
Anti-Virus Wars
Blog Wars
Font Wars
The Day the Earth Caught Up With Technology
ICON Wars
The Emulator
Infinite Loop
Record Lock
Micro Nano
Robot Certified
The Log Files
The CPU Chronicles
Free Space

Sequels and Remakes:
Original Source Code
Open Source Code
Blew-Up
The Usual SUSE
The Help-Desk
Fatal Error
Murder on the Outlook Express
Murder on the SQL Express
The Quick and The Dirty
Proof of Concept
Glitch
Alvin and the Chips
Cabinet
Eight Crazy Bytes
The NIC Team
Oh Brouter, Where Art Thou!
Emulator 2 – Revenge of the MainFrame
You’ve Got Virus
Restore, Reboot, Retry
You, Me and the Keyboard
The Taking of Password 1-2-3
Hard to Cancel

Miniseries / Reality / TV:
Computer Sales – Planned Obsolescence?
MAC Address Mysteries
Magnum IT
1024
Reformatted
All My Child Domains
CTXS: Miami
Roaming Profiles, Roaming Preferences
The Real SE’s of Broward County

Classics:
Web Site Story
Pixalated
Copy and Pastey
The Great Escape Key
The OSI Model
The Bridge Over the Router What?
SpyWare 3D
The Nano Nanny
The Other Side of the Mouse
High Memory Drifter
Gone With The Coder

War:
Ping! Ping! Ping!
Full Memory Dump

Sports:
Teaming NICS
Tin Chip
Idle Time-Out
Race Condition

Computers have done so much for the Movie Industry, why can’t they get it right for we Techies?
Save me a center row seat on 6/17/11 for Green Lantern
Dave Gallinson – Sr. Technical Account Manager – Citrix Systems, Inc.